Why do I matter?
I hate admitting that I spent my morning in tears. It’s not because I would prefer to hold back the tears, suck it up and move on. It’s because I had the realization I was stuck in a rabbit hole of comparison and I thought I had already overcome that. Why, again?? Regardless, here I was yet again. This time around, it sounded much different in my head.
Recently, I’ve been pushing hard working on projects to build my brand, refresh my website, create my first online course and write my second book. Sounds like a full plate, right? Sure. But, it’s fun work and part of my passion so it didn’t feel too stressful until I had this one meeting and it all came crashing.
The brand strategy team I hired was putting together a competitor audit. It’s standard for a marketing company to look at who is out there writing and saying what I’m saying, doing what I want to do, serving the kind of customers I want to serve.
So, here comes the realization. I stared at my computer screen. A full list of names, websites, blogs, and books that seem ironically similar. “Oh my goodness, I’m just like everyone else,” I thought. The tears welled up and spilled out.
In classic over-thinking form, the questions in my head piled up, “Why do I matter? Why does what I say or do matter at all?” I struggled to make sense of it. The course I just wrote and named, is even taken by somebody else. I’m looking at the bullet points and grids that outline what I have to do to stand up, stand out, and compete in an oversaturated market. In all the business talk, it was more than comparing the work. I was legitimately comparing myself and I hated all of it.
Here’s how I changed the narrative and turned this struggle around. Yes, this sounds oversimplified. I poured myself a huge glass of water, I put on a face mask, I paced the room and hydrated. Then I sat and took some deep breaths. I muttered a not so eloquent prayer.
Here’s what I landed on.
- I’m the only mother my kids have.
- I’m the only wife to my husband.
- I’m the only stay-at-home mom in this household.
- There’s nobody else that can be me to them, right here, right now.
- Nobody else can do my home or my role well, it belongs to me. All I do is give voice to my life. And my life is unlike any other.
I have this deep rooted growth mindset that tells me I’ve re-wired my brain to push past limits, to grow, to learn and to be the best version of myself. These are choices I’ve made. But, on my worst days or regrettable moments, I look around and I matter because I’m the only mom my kids will ever have. Even in the “I’m sorry, guys, I shouldn’t have ____”, they love me because we belong to one another. I might not have the most unique message or pictures or ideas or posts, but that’s not what defines me.
I hope wherever you are in life right now, you can carve a way out of comparison. Your worth is immeasurable. Your story and life are precious and it all matters deeply. The business stuff- agh, it’ll work itself out in time, it’s not worth my identity anyway.
I’m Brooke, a loving wife, a busy mom, an amateur at everything but a helper, on a mission to be the nicest person you ever met.
Leave some love in the comments and let me know I’m not alone in the comparison trap so I can cheer you on!