Q: How can moms embrace possibilities and what does that even mean?
A: I think it’s a mindset thing. It’s a call to embrace a broader way of thinking about what you are doing and what is within the realm of possibilities.
There are certain moms that I want to find….and hug……and hold your hand into a happier, more fulfilled way. We can’t solve problems with the same thinking we used to create them. We have to think differently. We have to get serious about solving anything that can be controlled, measured, quantified and separate what is just a simple physical act.
Let me say this. I know moms who will all day long complain about always having dirty dishes. Every day. There are dishes piled and growing science experiments. This mom needs a hug, a high five, a “you can do this” pat on the back and then it’s time to just say it. You need to do the dishes.
It’s not a problem. It’s just a simple physical act. Walk yourself into the kitchen. Get your hands in the sink and do it.
I never have dishes because I (we) always do the dishes. I make it dirty. I clean it and put it away. All in one swoop. Why? Because I embraced the possibility of having a clean sink. And I got serious about it. I don’t like dirty dishes and it’s just silly. It’s not fact. You aren’t a better mom because you have dirty dishes. You just are a mom with dirty dishes.
When I worked in restaurants, employees didn’t go home until the dishes are all done. Why? Because the next day you need the dishes.
Why is it different at home? Why are we thinking we need to let it go and not worry about it? It’s just a simple, physical act. It’s cyclical. It’s a cycle. It’s clean, used, dirty, then has to be cleaned. If you never complete the cycle, you don’t get excited about starting it over.
You know what I do before I cook a complicated meal? I clean the kitchen. Why? Because, it’s sacred. I light a candle and I enjoy what I have and feel thankful to use it when I need it. VS. I’m frustrated because I “can’t find something” or “Is it in the dishwasher?” or “I don’t even have enough counter space to do this” and I’ve solved all of these problems in advance of them. The problems didn’t need to exist because I started thinking I wanted to be on the other side of it. Solving and anticipating the next need.
Doing my dishes. That’s embracing possibilities. That’s what it means to me. Solve it. Do it. Solve all of the tiny problems that didn’t have to exist. Solve it and see how it feels. It feels like I love being in my kitchen now and that was worth it.